Loved and Lost
by PunkCosmopolitan
Summary: By Jamie Kay Huntt:   Death is inevitable. Even when you're me...
1. Chapter 1

**Yo. You all know me. Famed **_**Darkest Powers **_**FanFiction author Jamie Kay Huntt. Yeah, well, here's another story. It's called **_**Loved and Lost**_**. I've needed something to keep me occupied, so this might become a full time story if y'all like it. Anyway, here you go. Currently a one-shot.**

**Macaela**

**Disclaimer: Since when did Kelley Armstrong die and make me owner of DP? Yeah, I didn't think so.**

Death is inevitable. Even when you're me…

I loved, and lost the only person important to me. Derek was the one I wanted. And he never wanted me. I knew he didn't. He'd never shown any interest. I'd ask him something, and get nothing in response.

Sure, he'd talk to me when he needed something of me. Like getting Simon out of Lyle House or making sure the Edison Group didn't kill us. But that was it; nothing more, nothing less.

At least that's what it seemed…

On the night which Simon and I were supposed to go out, I made a fool of myself, and Simon ran off. Derek was beyond pissed. And that was that. And then when we had to attack the Edison Group, I was battling a guard.

I had a zombie on him. And it was doing okay. Until he pulled a move I wasn't expecting. A gun came out of his jacket and hovered mid-air. Then the trigger pulled.

Pain tour though my chest; the bullet hit me square in the shoulder. I screamed. My name was shouted in the background, and footsteps pounded in my direction.

A growl filled the air. Another shot followed; and then a thud. I scrambled up and pulled a James Bond, stealing the guard's gun and taking him down. Then I got to Derek. Blood pooled around him, and he lay still, unmoving.

Pulling his head into my lap, I just cried. There was no way he was going to come back to me. So I just left him. Left his body, and left my life behind. Just walked away to start over back, home with Dad…

I was sitting in class, doodling in my spiral while I absentmindedly flirted with Brent. When I got back, he jumped at me and asked me out. Heartbroken and needing a distraction, I said yes. It turned out okay. So I stayed with him. What was the worst that could happen?

"Have you met the new kids yet?" Brent asked.

"No. I didn't know we had new students," I replied.

"Oh. Yeah, there's, like, three sibling that are new in our grade."

"Okay."

The bell rang then, and we had to leave class. It was at least lunch. I could eat. But lunch was something I feared. I always saw Derek. Not his ghost. His ghost would have tried to talk to me. These images just stared at me and then faded away when I blinked. And I mainly saw them when I ate something.

And today wasn't the best day. As I exited the lunch line to sit down with Brent and Kari, I heard something I didn't want to hear.

"Ooh! Hey! Guys! Over here!" Kari shouted waving. When she did, three sets of footsteps headed to our table. "Come on take a seat!"

They did. I was looking down at my plate so I didn't look up. I could feel eyes watching me. Then Kari spoke again. "Chloe, have you met Tori, Simon, and Derek yet?" she said.

The names hit me like the bullet so long ago. Slowly, I looked up. Across from me sat two familiar faces. Simon and Tori…

I smiled slightly at them. Then I turned to Brent and said I'd be right back, and got up, leaving. I headed to the restroom. But before I could make it, somebody followed me. I stopped cold.

"Chloe…?" they whispered.

"Go away. Please. Just go away," I push out.

I started walking into the restroom, cutting off whatever they were going to say.

I was home now. I had gone home straight from lunch. I couldn't handle him being there. Not now. Not when I lived thinking he was dead for so long. So I walked home. I walked all the way home from A.R. Gurney. And just sat in my room and cried until I finally fell asleep.

I woke to pull a blanket over me only to find one on me. So I rolled over to check the time and see if Dad was home. The numbers on my clock were blocked; I couldn't see a damn thing. Thinking there was just a stack of pillows in the way, I pushed on the blockage. Instead of being pillows, and them falling off the bed, my hand hit a solid warm object.

_No… Not this…_

I rolled the other way until I fell out of bed, and then sprinted for the door. Of course, the thump of my body hitting the floor and my footsteps woke him up before I reached it. "Chloe," he said, "Why?"

"Why what?" I ground out.

"Today. Now. This. Why?" he said again.

"Derek… You've gone this long making me think you don't care and were dead. Don't do this. Just go away."

"No Chloe."

"Then make it right. Go back to the beginning. Go back to where you always wanted to say it, but didn't," I cried out.

He took a step closer. "I've always cared. But I'm not worth it. And yet, I can't control my bond with you. I — I want to start over with… I love you," he said quietly.

"After this long, you can't just say something that simple, and think I'll be with you in a heartbeat. I'm with Brent…"

"I know…"

He took another step closer, and wrapped his arms around me. I tried to pull back, but his arms held me in place.

Leaning closer. Eyes Closing. Pulse racing. His lips met mine, crushing. I just stood still, not breaking. Nibbling on my lip. Gasping. Teeth grinding. Tongues probing. I was kissing him back. And there was nothing I could do about it.

I missed him. And he knew it; and he knew I was just denying him because of what happened… But he caught me, letting me wrap around his finger. And there wasn't what Brent and I had. This… This seemed more…

He lifted me up, and walked backwards slowly, falling back on the bed, and rolling on top of me. All was quiet; he just stared into my eyes, cautious, questioning. I raised my lips to his ear, whispering, "I thought you would never do that. I thought you hated me. And then you were gone. Just like that. And I thought you never would."

"But I did," he whispered back to me. "I loved you. I lost you. I still love you. I won't lose you again."

I shook my head, "Stay with me, then."

"I will," he whispered, leaning in and giving me another kiss.

**And, queue reviews. I would love to know if I should continue this. I might make it a series. But, I don't know. So, let me know in a Review or PM, and I'll get back to you. If enough people like it, I'll start a second chapter and see the response it gets.**

**Thanks.**

**Macaela**


	2. Chapter 2

**I went ahead and decided to do a second chapter. I am not making this story a priority, so chapters won't come fast or long. It just depends on how I feel like making the chapter go. This is a short chapter. So, if you want longer, sorry. I am working on a new story, that will continue off of **_**The Last Stand.**_** And that one won't be up for a while, so… I'm not sure. Look for it in the next month.**

**Anyway, I own nothing!**

**Macaela**

I was sitting in class, with Brent. I had to end it. But I didn't know how. I didn't want to, either.

Deep in thought, I was weighing the pros and cons of yesterday's choice. If I stayed with Brent, he'd never get to know the truth. He'd just have a lie. But with Derek, he could help me with my powers, no matter how out of control they get.

Derek had even told me he loved me. The one time Brent told me he loved me, he was drunk, and not the least bit in his right mind.

I had to end it with Brent. So, quietly I called out, "Brent?"

"Yeah babe?" he said.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this to you. I can't be with you. I'm sorry, but it's over."

"Chlo? What'd I do?"

"Nothing Brent. It's something I've done."

"Y-you?"

"Yes."

"Not me?"

"No. Not you. Me."

"Okay…"

"Sorry."

He nodded, and turned away.

Lunch came around, and I abandoned my usual table. I couldn't sit there after this morning. Kari gave me a questioning look after I walked by, and headed to a small table in the back corner. I sat down, taking small bites of what was on my tray, not looking up.

A chair scooted back, and a tray clanked as it was set on the table. Not wanting to be rude, I looked up. There stood Simon.

"Can I sit?" he said. I just nodded. "I've missed you. You just, left. And I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"I— I guess I've missed you, too. I've missed everybody," I said.

"Well, it's nice to see you again. Especially now."

"Where's Tori?"

"She's at home. Dad went ahead and had her stay 'cause she wasn't feelin' well."

"Okay. She lives with you?"

"Yeah. Apparently, she's my sister."

"Wow… Where's Derek? He at home, too?"

"No. He's coming. He wanted to talk to Brent real fast."

I looked over my shoulder, saying, "Oh…"

Derek was standing at Brent's shoulder, saying something, and Brent was just nodded. And then Derek came over to the chair next to me.

"Hey bro," Simon said, clapping his shoulder.

Derek grunted in response, and started eating. I looked back down, and continued to eat.

The end of the day came hours later, and I hopped in the cab with Milos. "How was your day?" he asked me.

"It was okay…" I said.

"That's good."

I nodded absently and looked out the window until we arrived back to my place. Once there, I hopped out and went up to my room, throwing my bag in the corner, and plopping down on my bed. After a while, the thought of what happened today hit me. I broke up with Brent.

How could I be so stupid! Just because I thought Derek possibly wanted me, I go and end a perfect relationship? Ugh…

I flipped over in bed, and screamed into my pillow. Then the tears came. They didn't last long, though. A knock on my window startled me, and I crawled out of the pile of blankets that hid me and wiped my eyes on my sleeves.

**Okay, I'm gonna end it here, and leave y'all chew on this. Ima start on another story, too. I got an idea that I want to try out.**

**Macaela**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, well, I got to write some 'cause it's spring break. And sadly, that's coming to an end. But it was well spent flirting with Indie guys at the mall, and watching **_**Harry Potter**_**, and reading **_**Questionable Content**_**, and the **_**Trylle Series **_**by Amanda Hocking. So it's all good. But this chapter is gonna be really suckish in my opinion, because I absolutely know what I want to write with it, but I'm not sure how exactly to put it in words. It kinda plays in a movie in my head at night during long midnight reads. Also, might be short.**

**But anyway, I give you a chapter that continues from the last.**

**Macaela**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it. =/**

Padding over to my window, I pulled the curtain off to the side peering out. The light from the street was blocked out, so nothing was visible. With a sigh, I pulled open the glass. A large form stumbled, and cursed. The light post emitted a slight glow and illuminated the figure.

Slight movement and they turned around. Green eyes glinted. My heart sped up a beat, then stopped all together with shock, fear, hate, love…

"Chl—," I heard. Before they even finished, I lasted out; my arms flailing around, nails catching on something. A curse, then my arms pinned down, unable to move. Instinct kicked in and I screamed.

Derek cut me off, placing his lips to mine, silencing me. I struggled against him, losing. So I gave in. I just kissed him back. Someone yelled my name during that time, and footsteps pounded, coming towards my room. The door burst open, I heard, "Get the fuck off her!" Dad…

We were still kissing, and reluctantly, Derek broke away, standing.

"Away. Now. Move away from her bed," Dad commanded. Derek just stood there, face passive. "I said get away from her."

"Derek, do as he says; please," I whispered. He looked down at me, now sitting up, with want in his eyes, and stepped back. One last look at me, and he shouldered past my dad out of the room.

"What is the meaning of this!" Dad shouted. "Who is that guy!"

He continued shouting, so finally I had to yell back. "Shut up! Just shut up and let me explain!"

That quieted him down, so I began to speak, keeping my voice even. "You know the story of what happened. You know what happened then. You know who he is. But I don't know what to tell you of that. He just came here."

Dad's anger faded some, and he looked thoughtful for a moment. Then that anger returned. "Why did you scream? Why did I find you the way you were?" he said, no longer yelling.

"H-he startled me. I collapsed, and I woke up with someone pinning me to my bed, so I lashed out, instinctively. I screamed. And he cut me off. That's what happened. Nothing more, nothing less."

"I still don't care."

"I know…"

**Okay, gonna end it here. Tired… Plus can't think of anything else at the moment. So, here ya go. Review please. If it's crappy, go ahead and tell me. Thanks.**

**~Macaela**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so since I am decided to stay up all night and then go to school tomorrow where I will be bombarded by work, I have decided to give you a chapter since I will end up coming home tomorrow and sleeping. Maybe… Anyway, this might be a little hard to follow. My mood is all jumbled up. So it may seem weird 'cause I'm having mood swings here and there. Too little of sleep, I guess. I was up all night last night, too. I am terrible at sleep.**

**Anyway, I made sure this was over a thousand words excluding author notes because these things just seem way too short. So, I guess Ima start the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: You know me. I'm not Kelley Armstrong.**

Dad left after more interrogating, and Derek never came back to my room. Which again left me to think he didn't mean what he said. But I couldn't doubt it. Not with the look he gave me when my dad found us. So I was torn.

Slowly, I crawled from my bed, and walked down the hall to the front door. It wasn't long after Derek had left my room. Ten minutes maybe? So I was going after him.

Quickly, I got outside so I wouldn't have to face Dad again. I walked half way down the drive, and arms encircled me. Not gentle and safe like when Derek would hold me. This was violent, and something covered my mouth. I struggled against them, but it was useless. The more I fought, the more tired I grew. I was just drained. And eventually, I passed out.

I woke a little later, my body shaking. My eyes still didn't want to open, but I could hear talking in the distance; nothing distinguishable. Finally, I came to enough to notice where I was. I was in the back of a truck. Like, a regular pick-up truck. And I wasn't tied down or anything.

The vehicle was parked off on the side of the road, a small house over to the side. Looking around, I noticed we were still in Buffalo. We had passed this house when we were on the run.

The sky was dark, and I figured that whoever took me was going to stop for a break, or we were where they wanted to take me. I stayed quiet until I knew they weren't coming to get me, and started to crawl out.

Hopping over the side of the truck, I landed on my ankle, and heard a crack. I stifled a whimper, and searched my pockets hoping that I would have my phone with me. Not a chance. My pockets were empty. My only bet was to get to the nearest pay phone, which was about a mile off.

Considering my ankle was injured, it'd be hard for me to get there before my captors noticed I was missing. So I'd have to just hope for the best and set out. And that's what I did. I pushed through the pain and started jogging, sort of crouched down so I could get as far away as I could before they noticed.

I'd been walking about an hour, I think. Nobody had stopped and grabbed me out of nowhere. But I still jumped every time a car drove up behind me. I saw the phone booth a little while later, and pushed myself to run to it, and grab it, just trying to make it work, even though I had no money.

After a few tries, the phone finally connected me through. I called Dad. I knew he would be freaking out. So when he didn't answer the phone, I tried again, and again with no result. I couldn't even call Brent anymore. And I didn't have Derek's number, know he'd come for me.

So I just ran again. I just continued until I found something I knew. A landmark, maybe. But I found nothing. It was desolate. Nothing but abandoned buildings… I let out a scream of frustration, filled with fear. What if I never got back…?

The scream took so much out of me, I just fainted. The drugs or whatever they had me on had come back into effect…

I woke up shortly after. And as I looked around, I was home. Well, not really. I was in the lawn. Dad and Derek hovering over me, freaking out.

"W—what happened?" I mumbled.

They just looked at me with concerned eyes, not saying anything. I sat up slightly, my elbows propping me up, and asked again.

Derek looked iffy at first, and looked to my dad, and then he looked back to me. "Chloe… I was barely to my car when I saw you come out of your house. I was making sure I had everything. And then you just collapsed."

"I... Don't know what to say… I have no clue what happened. I felt someone attack me. They drugged me. I thought I was being kidnapped. At least, that's what it looked like. A desolate version of Buffalo, me captive by two people."

"Oh shit…" Derek mumbled, then said louder, "Chloe, has this been happening for a while?"

"N-no. This was the only time."

"Okay… It might just be stress then… If it continues, I'll have to talk to my dad… He'd know possibly…"

I nodded, and then sat up further until I felt I could stand.

I finally got up and went back to bed. Dad left to go finish what he was doing, and Derek made sure I got to my room okay. He didn't leave though. After he made sure I was in my bed, he went to the door, and I assumed then he was leaving, but he closed it, and locked it.

I looked at him confused. He smiled and shook his head, then he laid down on the bed and wrapped me in his arms. Still, I was confused. Then he kissed me. Hungry. Passionate.

I kissed him back, just as feverously. His hand moved from my shoulders to my waist, and the other wrapped itself in my hair. I slid mine under his shirt, feeling his abs, searching the plains of his chest.

As my hands slid up, so did his shirt until finally, I pushed it over his head and tossed it to the side, then wrapped my arms around her neck, fingers pulling the hair at the nape of his neck.

The hand on my waist moved under my blouse and pushed up the side until he found the edge of my bra and followed it to the clasp. He fidgeted with it until it finally came undone, and he pulled both his hands to my breast, thumbs flicking the nipples.

I let out a moan and he slipped his tongue into my mouth, probing and searching. Mine wrapped around his, almost fighting for dominance.

I smiled slightly, and ran one of my hands down his back and around his waist band. Feeling the cold metal of the snap, I popped it with a flick of my fingers and raised one of my legs to wrap around his back, then ran it back down, toes caught in his jeans, pushing them down. He easily kicked them off, tore at my shorts. As he did, I unbuttoned my top and slid off my bra, eyes locked on his.

Our skin pressed against each other, slick with sweat, as he clawed at my panties. Growling into my neck as he nuzzled me, he tore them, snapping the side seams and throwing them away.

My blood was pounding through my veins, and I pulled back kissing him again as he lined up with me, waiting for me to make sure we were going as far as we already were. Without warning, I trust my hips up, forcing him inside me, and bit off a scream that eased to a moan as we met each other until we couldn't hold it any longer.

**Okay, I think I will end it here. :D It's about 1212 words, so I think a good length is at work here. Now Ima try and read, and if I can't, Ima work on a **_**Harry Potter**_** FanFic that will totally have fucking in it. And that will be the only thing I can tell you about that.**

**Anyway, review please. **

**~Macaela **


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